Cruising with the dolphins and whales, Insha Allaah.

I am listening to one of my favorite artists John Lee Hooker while I try to write this piece. Yesterday, I saw the movie Avatar again (on TV), and it really touched me beyond words. Watching Jake Sully move beyond his physical difficulties to do what many with no such difficulties could not do. I loved it.

Yes, Avatar is animated science fiction, but it touched me. I have legs that work, Alhamdhlillaah. Cancer has not defeated me to that extent yet, by Allaah's Grace, and Insha Allaah, never will. I can shuffle around. I am not in a wheelchair except for long distances, that is. My Blessings are many.

Yet, sitting in my chair, heavy legs raised, I loved Jake Sully transcend his situation. Flying through the air, taking it to the enemy, defeating them. That's me, too, Insha Allaah, soon. Swimming right down to it, and defeating my enemy, cancer.

Cancer is a very insidious disease. Its smart. It tries to take over your mind first. It tries to instill doubts into your mind. Having faith and being strong and constant in daily prayer has kept my cancer at bay.

Nights are toughest, when the rest of the world is slumbering and resting. That's when cancer mounts its strongest attack on my mind. It tries to creep in with its doubts. That its already winning, that my treatment is not working. That's when it exerts maximum pain. That when it keeps telling me that there is no hope, that I might as well give up now. I will not, Insha Allaah. My treatment is not by doctors, it is by my Lord, Creator and Cherishor of the Worlds. My Lord cannot be defeated, nor I, as long as I hold fast to Him. Cancer does not know this.

Cancer wins if I give it a chance. During the day, with loved ones around me, its half not so bad, unless I drop my guard. This is because cancer is relentless, there is no day or night for it. Like those humans trying to get unobtanium from Pandora. Continuous attack. No chance. I too am vigilant, day and night. In the skies, on the ground, in the seas, and within my body, Insha Allaah.

So, Alhamdhlillaah for my Blessings. I shall be cruising with the dolphins and whales through the ocean soon, cancer defeated, Insha Allaah.

Flying High - Allaah's Will

As I've been in this fight against cancer for quite a while and winning stage by stage, Alhamdhlillaah, some friends and family members tell me I should blog about my experience. Well, I've decided to have a stab at it. I'll will try to make it as interesting as possible.

First and foremost is Faith! You must trust in Allaah to guide you through this trial.

No wallowing in self pity. If you do, you've already given up. Focus on Allaah, never lose your grip on the link between you and Allaah.

Pray continuously, keep asking day and night, your prayers will be heard and answered.

You must keep mentally strong. Don't let those overly sympathetic people scare you. Never give up on Allaah.

When I first entered the arena, I was tested till my head spun. Then my doctors gave me my treatment options: surgery, radiation, chemotherapy etc etc.

My first line of attack was chemotherapy. Finished cycle one successfully, Alhamdhlillaah. Amongst the many instructions, I was instructed to walk as much as possible. This is where it got really enjoyable.

Walking was very difficult, weak leg muscles, no muscular control, lack of balance. Yet, I did have to learn to move, at least from bed to toilet (no more bedpan!) So, what to do? Then I hit upon the perfect solution. FLY! Yes, Fly.

Like I said its all mental. I could careen small distances, sort of like a flying cockroach that's been sprayed with Mortein. The trick was to master this movement to get from one place to another with as few accidents as possible.

First, I had to adopt a persona, so that I could mentally adopt their moves. My choices were either the Red Baron or the Black Ninja. The Red Baron was cool, his flying stunts astounding. However, too often his plane ended up destroyed riddled with holes while the hero escaped. Not the ideal choice.

As a Black Ninja, I would have seven senses to allow me to react to something before it even happened. That would me from now on, Insha Allaah.

Transforming from the Mortein cockroach to the Black Ninja, I first drew a mental Flight Plan. Start and end destinations clearly identified. Bed to dining table. Flight Plan to be shortest route between the two.

Control my careening through speed and momentum. If I slow down, I lose my balance. And always keep moving till my destination is reached.

Bismillaah, I zoomed off in Black Ninja mode at high speed on my first flight. Did a tilt and a turn through the bedroom door. Who put that sink there!! Tilted right to avoid it. Bumped the dining table and zoomed towards the door. Voices behind, where are you going? Tuned them out except the voice of the Tower, another bump, 180 degree turn and back towards the Tower (a quite angry one at that), safe landing. Only few minor bumps, phew. No more Mortein cockroach.

While I mastered flying I did get a lot of help from my care givers in moving from one place to another. I mastered my flight techniques rapidly and soon was very actively and (gracefully I thought), moving around.

As I look out the window, I see myself gliding gracefully looking down at the trees, soaring above the buildings, enjoying the sun and wind. Awed by the beauty of Allaah's creations. Independence! Liberating. Freedom of the mind, bringing hope and strength. Allaah's Will.

Allaah Bless, everyone.

Allaah is sufficient for me

My Lord is One, there is none other
For He is Allaah, the Originator
Creator, Sustainer, Cherisher
Of the Heavens and Worlds
And all that is within, without,
What worry need I have
What distress need I have
When in Him I completely trust
Unto Him I can always turn
For He has promised us thus
Call unto Me and I shall answer you
Ask Me and I shall grant you
Allaah is sufficient for me
And Allaah knows best.